Monday, October 18, 2010

Friends with benefits

So now newly single, I've entered a new issue that didn't matter before because I wasn't a christian and lived a whole different lifestyle. Mostly unhealthy but I had some things down. I was friends with guys and had friends with benefits in a manipulative way. I had guys who drove me around, I had ones who liked to go for mani-pedi's and then the unmentionable you know the one for sex...there were no emotions attachments at all. I have been thinking so much about that life and my life now and somethings I obviously know are wrong now and were big mistakes and like I said before I know that prayer saved me from being killed or infected with disease. My recent situation made realize some new issues like how come if you are friendly with a guy people think you like him. Or if a guy is nice to a girl he must want her. Why can't 2 people be friends? It's the girls fault mostly, I've decided because of emotional attachment girls should not be players. They will get played eventually by themselves. Dating is an emotional roller coaster, does he like me? Why didn't he call? I'm not good enough I guess. Girls get so upset and settle for less. I am going to set standards that line up with the bible and will advise friends male and female of what I have learned. I have a co-worker who is a decent person and is nice, people wonder if I like him or if he likes me, just because we have fun and get along and maybe because we seem to have spats here and there, I would like it if people didn't comment and would mind their business so we can continue to be friends without defending our relationship constantly.
I hesitate on telling people if we hung out or if we went to the movies together in a group, or that we hung out and played wii and had fun. I feel for my current situation it is healthy to just have friendships. I was in a relationship where I didn't get to have fun!!! I enjoy my time alone and enjoy hanging with friends too, I am not about to jump into bed with someone who says nice things me. Peoples comments really effect how we relate to one another.

I finally get what has been taught about women being emotional, and I believe that it could be dealt with for the most part by checking our emotions regularly renewing of the mind and having bff's that are honest and willing to keep us in check.

I want to have guy friends and girl friends that are healthy relationships covenantal ones really.
My best Friend and I have worked hard to get to where we are now, we are unseperatable but know how to take time for ourselves and our families too! Her husband is awesome in understanding what I am going through too and is supportive with kids and helps with whatever he can. My bffs mom is also helpful too and is taking the kids to a program on Wednesdays as well which gives me a break and time to spend with my youngest

I am thankful for everyone in my life right now and would like to be friends with my guys and girls without judgement and drama


  1. I'm so glad you decided to post this. Love ya...

  2. Relationships are tough! I like reading your perspective, good things to think about.